A Seabee or Something
A Seabee or Something is the first episode of (pat)Rick Figures. Transcript (On the street, Patrick walks up to SpongeBob with arms undulating.) SpongeBob: What is wrong with your body? Patrick: (Auto-Tuned) Hi, SpongeBob, how you do? (He continues to move in a strange manner.) SpongeBob: And what is wrong with your voice? Patrick: (Auto-Tuned) There ain't nothing wrong with my voice, Shawtay! SpongeBob: You're making some weird sounds. Patrick: (Auto-Tuned) Oh. Uh, that. I swallowed a bee or something, maybe a robot frog! I don't know. But it sounds sick as fuck! (He bounces up & down.) SpongeBob: Whatever, man. I got a serious problem. Patrick: (Auto-Tuned) Yeah, girl. Turn up the problems. SpongeBob: Patrick! (Patrick stops bouncing.) Patrick: (normal voice) Sorry. (Auto-Tuned): Sorray! SpongeBob: No, really. I'm having girl problems. Patrick: (Auto-Tuned) Then I feel bad for you, son. SpongeBob: My girlfriend dumped me last night... Patrick: (Auto-Tuned) Oh, my God! SpongeBob: Thanks, man. Yeah, I know. We were together a long ti- Patrick: (Auto-Tuned) A Pretztail! (Paulie Pretztail comes out of a trashcan. The camera zooms into his eyes.) Paulie Pretztail: Konichiwa. Patrick: (Auto-Tuned) The ninja of the sea. (SpongeBob snaps his fingers to get Patrick's attention.) Patrick: (Auto-Tuned) Ohhhhh, shiiiiieeet! SpongeBob: You sound really stupid. Patrick: (Auto-Tuned) Yeah, right! My voice sounds tight as fuck! Hey, ladies! You like the sound of my (Waving arms in the air) voooice?! (Women cheer & start to dance.) Patrick: (Auto-Tuned) I can't hear you! I said do you like the sound of my vo-o-ooice? (Boom Addict plays as women dance & Red gets laid by a woman. He's then showing 2 women to Blue.) Patrick: (Auto-Tuned) Yo, SpongeBob! I just found you a new girlfriend & a girl for your girlfriend. (Turns to a fat ugly girl.) (normal voice) And you can go home. (She gets discouraged & walks away. Women continue to dance, now with limos & speakers.) Patrick: (Auto-Tuned) ''Yeah, yeah! '''Paulie Pretztail': (dancing) Shorty! Make-a that ass crap (possibly meaning "clap")! SpongeBob: Hmmmm... (Turns around to face 2 women who are dancing. He clears his throat & speaks nervously.) You're looking very pret-- (clears throat) Ah, fuck! (1 of the women slaps him.) Paulie Pretztail: You need to be with the grown-ass, man! (SpongeBob looks at Paulie Pretztail suspiciously. Paulie Pretztail gives him the "finger", complete with censor. Paulie Pretztail walks away with the women. Meanwhile, Patrick continues to dance.) Patrick: (Auto-Tuned) Yeah! Yeeeah! (Chokes & farts out a seabee, which flies away.) Seabee: (Auto-Tuned) I'm free, mothafucka! Patrick: (normal voice) Oh, damn, it was ''a seabee! Yeh-hes, woman! I like your movements! ''(The women give him a confused look. The limos & the women leave. Paulie Pretztail's shown with a smoke bomb.) Paulie Pretztail: Sayonara! (He throws the bomb down & disappears in a cloud of smoke.) SpongeBob: (sarcastically) Oh, man, I'm so sorry for you, you had everything, woooow... Patrick: Yep. Well, looks like everything's back to norma-- (Farts for a few seconds, his leg wobbling. SpongeBob watches in disgust.) SpongeBob: Why am I friends with you? Patrick: 'Cause I'm aweso-! Soundtrack Hawaiian Train: Title card. Tomfoolery: Most of the episode. Boom Addict: The dancing sequence. Sad Parting: "And you can go home." Category:FDBackup Category:Episodes Category:2018